Haha. Funny.

Below is one of many posts that never got published because my internet connection was interrupted while the post was supposed to be etching itself into the history books of internet literature:

I have been told in many settings and by many people that I have a good sense of humor. I am prone to believe them. It seems reasonable to extend my belief that I have a good sense of humor to the belief that I am also a good judge of senses of humor (not always a justifiable assumption, but I think a small host of factors make it a viable assumption in this particular case). Therefore, I feel confident telling you that Fate does not have a good sense of humor; his (yes, Fate is a masculine entity in my personal universe thanks to the influence of Terry Pratchett) "humor" is just plain mean... even if annoyingly just at times.

Yesterday, Serge burned his hand under a hot water tap, and it may have been the case that a laugh escaped from somewhere in my general vicinity before any condolences or offers of help could make the long trek from me to him. It seems that Fate then thought that it would be downright hilarious to watch me spill half a glass of boiling water on my hand this evening when I was trying to make my nightly pot of tea. The process is simple: boil two glasses of water in the microwave, pour both glasses into my teapot, steep the tea, and enjoy. Usually, little if any pain is associated with this process. I thoughtlessly begged for Fate's attention, though, when I laughed at Serge's I'm-in-pain antics, so Fate gave me a chance to do the oh-shit-my-hand-is-on-fire dance, too.
I have tried to teach my students a thing or two about sarcasm. I was using everything I knew in full force as I thanked Fate for giving me the opportunity to stand by our kitchen sink for 20 minutes with cold water running over my injured appendage. Even after that, it was sensitive, so I froze two damp towels and wrapped one around my hand while the other one would keep freezing itself for use when the utilized one began to approximate room temperature a bit too closely to be useful. While I was proud of myself for coming up with this cooling method (at home, i simply would have used frozen peas -- something we have done in the Chase household for as long as I can remember, always noting that if the peas thaw, we can just cook them), I would have preferred to have used that time filling out grad school applications, grading, or, that unattainable of all joys, sleeping.

Nice one, Fate. Hilarious. I am sorry I am not cracking up, but, you know, I am busy doing everything I was supposed to be doing when you played that hysterical little joke.

UPDATE: Since this post is being published a little late, I will note that the burn healed splendidly after a few days of redness & tenderness. Either my roommate or one of my students found one of the towels still in the freezer days later. Considering that my roommate also occasionally finds a sponge in the microwave (nuking sponges is a good way to dry them quickly and kill bacteria that may be tempted to start a new family there), I think I may be coming across as a little strange in my housekeeping habits. At least it is not another case of miscommunication.